Are you in a rut? Is your world feeling a little blue? Are the people in your life constantly negative? Do you feel critical and grumpy most days?


We tend to deflect the reasons for a negative life onto the things and people around us, but the truth is: LOOK IN THE MIRROR!

Listen, we all have our bad days, and life is certainly not made from rainbows and puppy dogs, I get that, but life doesn’t have to be one big ball of negativity either! Most of you have heard the saying “misery loves company!” Well, the bad news is, this is true! The good news is, you are in CONTROL of your own misery!

Let’s talk a little psychology babble for just a second, after all, isn’t that why you’re at my blog in the first place? You’re looking for sound psychological tidbits of information to change your life?! (I’m kidding, I’m kidding!). Okay, so, Locus of Control is a term that describes how a person views the place (or location) by which control happens in their life! There are two types:

1: External Locus of Control

2: Internal Locus of Control

External Locus of Control are going to be people who believe everything that happens to them is because of some outside influence. “Well, I can’t get my work done right because Sally Sue at the desk next to me did such-and-such” “I had a great day because Sally Sue did such-and-such!”

  • Here we see the person’s success and failures are relying on an external source. Yes, it is true, sometimes we are relying on other people for us to accomplish what we are working on, but this does not have to be a 100% reliance on an external source.

Internal Locus of Control are going to be people who believe everything that happens to them is because of their own actions. “I didn’t get my work done because I was not focused” or “I had a great day because I …”

  • Here we see the person’s success and failures are relying on an internal source. Again, sometimes we are actually relying on other people, but it does not have to be 100% reliance!

You’re probably wondering why this is so important to you and what looking in the mirror has anything to do with you having an amazing day? Here it is: REGAIN CONTROL OF YOUR OWN LIFE BY LOOKING IN THE MIRROR: CHANGE YOUR LOCUS OF CONTROL! Yep, it is that “simple!” We have all been affected by other people, we have all had bad experiences in life, but we don’t have to settle on life being miserable and we certainly do not have to rely on others for our own success or happiness!

Our control is located internally! WOW! How empowering is that?!

Here’s the thing, research show people with an internal locus of control are more confident, are physically and mentally healthier, report being happier, they have greater successful outcomes, are more independent, and the list of positives goes on and on! Those with an external locus of control experience the opposite, but in addition often develop depression and hopelessness in significantly higher numbers.

Here’s the chance to apply psycho-babble to change your life!

  • Write down three positive thoughts about your day every single day. Sometimes this is simple, but sometimes this requires us to dig deep. Being positive 3 times a day has been shown to completely eradicate depression, often equivalent to antidepressant medications!

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things. – Philippians 4:8

  • Make Your Day Ridiculously Amazing! Challenge yourself to counteract all negative thoughts throughout the entire day with a positive thought! Be ridiculous about how positive you are! This is a 24/7 exercise of positivity! You will begin to notice your day goes better, life is improving, and other people around (those miserable ones we talked about earlier) will also notice! You have miserable people surrounding you because you’re miserable! LOOK IN THE MIRROR! Soon your ridiculously positive and amazing days will become a lifestyle…and there is nothing ridiculous about success, confidence, health, or happiness!

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. – Romans 12:2

Stewart’s Gift Counseling